Ah, World Book Day! The one day a year when we all collectively remember that books exist. We dig through our shelves, sniff that nostalgic scent of slightly dusty pages, and promise ourselves, “This year, I’ll finally read War and Peace—or at least open it and dramatically sigh before putting it back.” Meanwhile, Artificial Intelligence sits quietly in the background, pretending not to judge our reading habits (but absolutely judging).
For book lovers, it’s a day of celebration, a chance to remind the world that reading is not just fundamental but fabulous. For AI, it’s a day to scan vast libraries in milliseconds and smugly conclude that it has technically read more books than all of humanity combined. (Not that it’s a competition. But if it were, AI would win.)
The Stages of World Book Day (Now With AI Commentary)
The Optimistic Morning – You wake up and declare, “I shall read today!” AI, meanwhile, has already read 10,000 books before you’ve even had your coffee. No pressure.
The Afternoon Distraction – Oh look, the internet! Social media is buzzing with people sharing their favorite books, and suddenly you’re adding ten more titles to your unread collection instead of actually reading. AI, on the other hand, just generated a perfectly curated reading list for you—though let’s be honest, you still won’t get through it.
The Evening Reckoning – You realize it’s almost bedtime and you haven’t turned a single page. You pick up your book, read three sentences, and promptly fall asleep with it on your face. AI, meanwhile, just finished analyzing Ulysses and wrote an insightful review about its themes. Show-off.
Books We All Say We’ve Read (But AI Actually Has)
Moby Dick – “Call me Ishmael… and also a liar, because I stopped at Chapter 3.” AI has read it and can summarize it in one sentence.
Ulysses – James Joyce’s masterpiece, or a literary endurance test? AI doesn’t mind—it processed it in 0.002 seconds.
Pride and Prejudice – Yes, the Colin Firth adaptation counts, right? AI disagrees but will let it slide.
The Great Gatsby – “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into pretending we finished it.” AI finds this poetic, but also suspects you skimmed it for school.
How to Celebrate Without Actually Reading (AI-Enhanced Edition)
If you, like many, struggle to finish books but still want to look bookish, here are some alternative ways to mark the occasion:
Ask AI to summarize a book for you, then nod wisely and pretend you read it.
Generate a list of “must-read classics” and let it gather digital dust in your bookmarks.
Loudly quote famous first lines at random people (“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times!” is a good one to yell on public transport.)
Casually mention you’re “revisiting the classics” while holding a book upside down. AI won’t stop you.
So, happy World Book Day to all the bibliophiles, the casual readers, and the folks who just enjoy the aesthetic of bookshelves. Whether you’re diving into a novel, using AI to read for you, or just hugging a book for moral support, today is for you!
Photo by Brandi Redd on Unsplash
